It never fails. Never. Every time the horizon looks brighter, a dark cloud will hover to try and pour rain upon the setting.
It is not fair. To suffer the consequences of an assumed guilt over and over again can be mentally depleting and emotionally distressing. And at this state of mind, I do not have the strength to struggle for victory because it is not about winning. It is not about being in the wrong or being in the right. It is just about trying to overcome the torment of condemnation. CONDEMNATION. An expression of disapproval or discontent over a misguided judgement.
It is not fair. To perpetually carry the 'sins' of the past and not be given the chance to justify the misdeed... is frustrating. I always have to be on my guard... to walk on eggshells as I contend with that little voice that denounces my every act into a wrongdoing.
It is not fair. To come too close to the person who fills that celestial sphere with brightness, only to be tarnished by a speck of dirt.. is absolutely dispiriting.
Where have I gone wrong? Is it really me? Is it ME and my queer self-expression that does not conform with virtuous conduct? Is it ME and my relentlessly insolent attitude that goes beyond the limits of social acceptance?
Is it ME for being ME?
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