I am angry. I am bitter. I am sad... and suffering.
I am overcome with rage and no amount of tears can soothe the pain of degradation. I have been hurt and I want to console myself with revenge. I want to lash out with the same hurtful words and inflict an even greater pain.
But in as much as I want to get even and unleash this destructive wrath, my values and behavior tell me not to bring myself down to that level of lowbrow mentality.
And if I do succumb to the call of vindictive retribution, what will that accomplish? Nothing. If I allow myself to be overcome with hatred, I will only encourage anger to rule my life. It will leave me helpless and unable to move on.
I want to move on. I want to forget that once upon a time, I have loved... I have laid my life like an open book only to be tarnished with spite and ill-will. I want to let go of the feeling of being wrapped up in resentment.
Forgiveness is not an easy act to accomplish. But if that will free myself from the agony of being wrapped up in vile, then I shall -- with a grain of salt. This does not mean, however, that the intolerable act and hurtful words are justified, nor does it deny the responsibility of afflicting the pain. This does not certainly mean I will readily forget all that's been said and done. Perhaps in time, as time heals all wounds. But for now... it only means turning around -- without looking back.
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