I should be in bed at this time. Tired. But I can't sleep.
Something disturbs me. There is this pain I feel.
I should be happy. Well... I am happy or I WAS happy for a while until I start to think. As always, I think of the "why"
This is what I feel right now. I feel like I am pushing myself too far. And I am scared.
That's what it is. Fear. Fear of the hurt that is starting to form -- or is this just an over-reaction?
Should I stop? Should I kill it now before it kills me? Or should I let it die a natural death so that I won't feel that I had given up something that "could have been".
I don't know. I just feel pain.
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