It's 7:50 p.m. on Thursday, 28-Dec-2006 -- three days from the new year. This year "2006", with all its ups and downs, the highs and lows, the good and bad, the few and many, blah-blah-blah, is coming to an end. I should be happy. I can start anew. Start from scratch. Learn from all the mistakes, and do it right the next time.
Problem is-- will there be a next time? What if ... whatever it is you want to straighten out doesn't have a "next time"? It's like death -- you can only say "oops" once and only once because you're dead. You cannot die twice or three times. There's no "ok let me try that again"... or "oh I can do it better next". Nah. You can only do so many repetitions or making-up. That's why I am not too happy. I have only three meager days to do things right and keep it right through the new year.
9:50 p.m., Thursday, 28-Dec-2006. Still sitting here. Thinking. Deliberating... what of? Nothing in particular, really. Something to eat? LOL.
11:23 p.m. Thursday, 28-Dec-2006. Just got over a discussion with a friend -- on the philosophy of attraction. Uhm, ok.. it's more of a debate. It was good though. It rattled my brain cells for a change. Then multi-tasked with getting advice from another friend on a personal issue. Kinda deep. Whew.
Whoops. There goes the buzzer. Transfer the clothes over to the dryer. I'm thinking... if we a had washer/dryer back when I was growing up, life would have been so much easier. But then again, it wouldn't be the same. What I am today is the product of what I was and what I've been through. It's like a chain reaction. Ah... the wonders of life.
It is now 11:37 p.m., still on the same day... I'm getting a little tired, but I have to wait for the clothes to dry. Well, not really. They can wait until tomorrow LoL. Besides, my mind is still racing through a dozen thoughts: will I finish these documents I need for work. where the hell did I leave my car keys. uhm. I'm hungry (again!). Going for the M&M's -- I know my daughter has some left. Ok what are my plans for tomorrow. I need to work around these plans so I can do what "I want to do" outside of the family obligations. Ugh holidays. LOL.
Thinking... thinking... arrghhhh. I gotta snap out of this sentiment. It is driving me peanuts. What the hell is it that is bothering me, for crying out loud???? Going back to what occupied my mind a few hours (no, minutes) ago, I stopped. What have I accomplished thus far... to have reached the 46th year of my life still not content? I brought two offsprings to this world (who are undeniably in the makings of their mother!), got a roof over their heads, got a 6:30 to 3 pm job sitting on my hiney all 8 hours of it (thirty minutes divided up to go the bathroom or get coffee or stretch and walk or gossip about the new employee LOL - that's a joke!)... so what is there to whine about?
You're missing the point dude. Isn't it obvious? Think. Think with your eyes (as in read)... and tell me what you see (or don't see). Got that right, kiddo! Missing the 'significant other'! B-I-N-G-O.
I'm not going to write about that now. I just wanted to mention it, in case you wonder -- "what the hell is she mumbling about?". Just link these keywords together and you'll know what I mean: New Year. Missing. Significant Other. There is one. But why the whining? More later....
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