An Open Letter

How do you react to something that hurts you?

When you have a thorn on your finger, you know the pain will linger until that thorn is removed. And once it's gone, you nurse the hurt that it caused. 

When somebody maligns you and gives you all kinds of emotional grievance, would you "readily" forgive and forget? Even if you're the saint that you try to be, forgiving and forgetting is not easy to do over a short period of time.

At least... not for me. I try not hurt or cause anybody to hurt. And if I did, it is only a form of rebuttal.

I am but human. I have feelings. Feelings that shouldn't be taken for granted. Feelings that shy away from the outside world once they get muddled and injured. 

I am distressed at this moment. Very very distressed. I want to cry but I have no more tears to shed. I want to shout but I have no more voice. I want to run but I have nowhere to go. 

I feel like I have just been slapped in the face. Something was said to me that hit a nerve. And that is all what it'll take for me to be hateful. I am now harboring an ill feeling. A feeling of disgust and defamation.

How do I recoil from this unjustified injury? How will I nurture myself back to soundness when I find this hurt hard to overcome?

I am now talking out of sequence. This is because all these thoughts of rage are wanting to explode from my head.

I have to say this:

Do not expect me to welcome your woes. After the emotional roller-coaster that you've put me through, you have the nerve to tell me that I am ungrateful for ignoring you? Do you not think that I've used up all the patience I have left. And worse of it all, IF there was any residual love left -- you just threw them down the drain!! Hear my words: YOU JUST THREW THEM DOWN THE DRAIN!!! The very thought of you now infuriates every fiber of my being. I regret all the time I spent with you and all the wasted efforts. Now just leave me in peace for I have no more strength to fight you. I don't even know you anymore. I am now blocking everything about you from my mind so that I can go on living my life. So help me God.

 That was quite a relief. To vent it all out in one or two paragraphs. I've always believed it is a good thing to vent. No matter how you do it. You just do... and then you should feel better.