I Understand

How to end a relationship without hurting the other person: If there is such a thing, sign me up for it or get me a front row ticket!!

I stared at my friend in disbelief as she courageously said those words. She looked back at me with mixed emotions. I know my friend from head to foot, inside and out, back and front -- but this time, I could not read her. Somebody or something has taken over her body because I do not seem to know her anymore.

My friend (sorry... I cannot say her name to protect the innocent --and that be ME!) and we have known each other since we were our family's little bambinas. Her family and mine were almost like family-family, hence she became my family-family. Since then, we've been together like we were each other's shadow. Therefore, there is nothing that she can hide from me (nor I from her) that I would not be able to notice. She's as transparent to me as looking though a glass.

This time... it's not the case. I cannot see through her. Or if there is anything to see, it is blocked!

The last couple of weeks, I have noticed she's been putting some distance between me and her. But being the person that she is, I thought she was just going through her "Please-Slap-Me" (PMS - so I'm dyslexic!) episodes, so I left her alone. Little did I know that there was something bothering her and she came to the point where she had to act very unlike her for me to notice. How I could have been oblivious of the fact, is beyond me. (I think it comes with age!)

The topic of "how to end up a relationship without hurting the other person" had long been replaced with another question about relationships. But I am still musing over the response she gave on the first question.

"Are you okay?" The question was automatic. I felt like a mother coming to the rescue of her child.

"I'm fine", she said in monotone.

She's lying. I know she's lying. She is far from fine. She is drowning!

I don't know what to do... much more what to say. I have a feeling it has something to do with matters of the heart. And even though I consider myself a veteran (hah! I think "battle-scarred" is more appropriate!), there is really nothing I can offer as an advice other than to let her think for herself. After all, she is the one who has to live with that decision... whatever it is.

She's a grown woman. She knows what's good for her and what's not. I would assume at this stage, she knows what she truly wants -- hence this turmoil of emotions. Conflict of interests, of morals, of anything one could possibly associate with a relationship.

I gave her a hug -- which she knows, is more than a hug. It's telling her -- it's gonna be OK! This too shall pass.