Why Me?

A lot of times I wonder why people do the things they do or say the things they say. Is it the law of nature -- that when one feels deprived of any kind of social entanglement, the tendency is to acquire that attention through a negative vessel? And more often than not, the people affected by this behavior are those who are the least at fault.

As I sit here and ponder upon my primary reaction to the "attack" -- which I took personally -- I tend to question the motive -- WHY? and WHY ME? What have I done to deserve this chastising? What have I done to her specifically... or to anybody, for that matter... to incite this kind of behavior? What guilt have I got to repent for? More so, why do I have to answer -- as if she is of a higher power -- for my actions?

What irks me is this act of self-righteousness and this judgmental attitude, coming from a person who, by far, has not the least idea of who I am, nor have had the opportunity to collaborate with me -- in any way, shape, or form. I have the right to be angry. I have the right to be sad. I have the right to stand my ground. I have every right to feed into the slashes thrown upon me because I am not who they think I am. I know who I am and I know what I am.

And yes, call it inappropriate that I react so impulsively -- thereby lowering my standards to those with whom I reacted to. But... I am just like anybody else. I am no different from any normal human being who gets offended by false accusations. I agonize over hurt feelings when my character is criticized -- the character I so hardly try to put upon a pedestal, only to be blemished by people who are overcome by envy.

It is pathetic. Indeed. And I feel sorry for myself. I feel sorry that I had to stoop down to a level that demoralizes the ego -- because the people down below are simply what they are -- BELOW!