This is becoming unbearable. Is it really happening or am I just being put to the test? Why can't I just tell myself to STOP -- just to spare me from the inevitable. Is it even worth taking the risk of ridiculing myself -- as if I haven't made a fool of myself already.
Oh. But it's an awesome feeling. It really is (or was?). Shouldn't it be a two-way street?
The last two days I've been dreaming of pools. A swimming pool. A pool of water. Anything with water. The dream interpretation: To see a pool of water in your dream, indicates that you need to understand and deal with your emotions. You need to dive right in. Alternatively, a pool may indicate your need for cleansing. You need to wash away the past.
I do understand my emotions. In fact, nobody else can understand my emotions but me. Yeah me. I don't think anybody believes that I am capable of giving back a feeling as intense. All I am to them is but a figment of imagination. When will they believe? or how can I make them believe?
Wine glass is empty. It's time for bed anyway. Enough of this dead-end questioning. I'll cross the bridge when I get there... IF I get there. Meanwhile, give it some thoughtful consideration. It might be worth losing a night's sleep or two.
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